Human Flower Project

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Strolling the Heifers

A summer custom in Vermont lifts up the dairy industry and does wonders for bovine beauty.

Butterscotch, looking good at the Strolling of the Heifers
Brattleboro, Vermont
Photo: Strolling of the Heifers

We’re not going to call in PETA, but we aren’t much for dressing animals in costume. William Wegman ... What’s so funny? Or is it supposed to be clever? We don’t get it.

And stuff like this.... Isn’t there something better to do, even with a cat?

Strolling of the Heifers parade
Vermont’s answer to the Desalpe
Photo: Strolling of the Heifers

Now the great exception, of course, is wreathing cattle with flowers. This is a practice we wholeheartedly endorse. Cows are like blondes. They need a little cosmetic help. And they seem not to mind a few blossoms, even artificial ones, which is very broad minded of them. Or is it divinely indifferent?

What brought this deep question of aesthetics to the surface was Brattleboro, Vermont’s Strolling of the Heifers. This is still dairy cattle country, for the moment, and to remind everyone that Vermonters did not always sit at computers for their livelihoods, Brattleboro has local dairyfolk parade their cows through town each June. The three-day festival took place this past weekend, its centerpiece being the stroll on Saturday.

There were Holstein balloons, like the one above/left, a celebration of women in agriculture, bagpipers, twirlers, and a “Live Green” theme. Cows are exemplary on this score, and we learn there are 162,000 of them living in Vermont. 

Okay, so it’s not Pamplona. These are Yankees. Running down the street and getting gored isn’t their idea of a good time. No, it’s not quite as magnificent as the late summer Desalpe—when herds are led down off the mountains in Switzerland and Austria. It’s still a fine human flower project, and a darn sight better than putting a hound dog on a cocktail dress.