Human Flower Project
Shush!
As flowers pipe up, tranquility recedes.
Communication Flower (earplugs not included)
Photo: via engadget
The fan’s whirring, a neighbor’s dog barks, a plane grumbles overhead, and up the street, a dozer intermittently is beeping its back-up warning to traffic. This is at home, on a quiet-ish corner.
Now the world has gotten louder. An ancient bearer of tranquility has been wired for sound. Just in time for holiday shopping orgiastics, we have Communication Flower, a gizmo that “will randomly belt out ‘200 words and phrases’ whenever you speak to or touch the connected bouquet.’” Looks like it sells for about $35—the gift for the person who has everything, except peace of mind.
Tatsu-nami
Photo: Chrysanthemums of Japan
We’re thinking this item was made in Japan. What a long way from the silence of Haiku. One early enthusiast noted “a good dog or boyfriend (or girlfriend) can do pretty much the same, but the advantage here is that you can turn the Communication Flower off when it bores you..!”
We’re dumbfounded. First fragrance was bred out of flowers. Must we lose their silence, too?
For those enchanted by the thought of yakking or yodeling blossoms, we offer this ditty, kindly forwarded by our friend Renessa in Canada.
To the rest of you, we send Oshima Ryota (1718-1787):
mono iwazu
kyaku to teishu to
shiragiku to
No one spoke,
The host, the guest,
The white chrysanthemums.
What a stunningly stupid idea. No wonder the miniature noisemaker is wearing a dunce cap.
Annie at the Transplantable Rose