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Thursday, February 24, 2005

Queer Etiquette

Are flowers appropriate on a first date?

The staff of, an online news and entertainment site aimed at gays and lesbians, includes etiquette advisor Social Grace. Yesterday’s question:

Dear Social Grace,

When I was younger (and pseudo-straight), it was customary to bring flowers to the door, or some type of florally thing, when I showed up at a woman’s house for a date.

What do I bring a guy? Is this even necessary? I would feel good if it were done to me, but I don’t want to seem like I’m trying to schmooze the guy too much, and I think flowers for a man is a little too much…..

I’m no Miss Manners, but S.G.‘s advice strikes me as sound for daters of all orientations.

“...With most first dates (unless you already know the person well), showing up at the door with a gift is not strictly necessary—a first date is often a ‘compatibility test.’ And an informal poll I conducted suggests that a majority of single people would, indeed, find first-date flowers a bit over the top.”

That said, there are, of course, people of all persuasions who LIKE “over the top.” Please send us your views.

Posted by Julie on 02/24 at 10:38 AM
Culture & SocietySecular CustomsPermalink