Human Flower Project

Predatory bouquets

Stalking used to be called “ a crush” or “flattery,” and thought a nuisance. Today it’s taken very seriously, and flowers may be called into evidence.

When I first came upon a report of a stalker sending flowers, I brushed it aside as alarmist. How could sending flowers constitute harassment?

Now I’m convinced, after reading stories like this one from the Yorkshire Post:

The woman met a man at an office party, who asked her to dance. She declined his advances. The next day she received the first of hundreds of adoring letters, and then violent messages.

“‘When it first happened I just wanted him and it to go away and gave him every opportunity to stop without having to call in the police,’ she says. “In the back of my mind, I thought people might not see it as significant. If you tell people someone is sending you big bunches of flowers, there are some who will say, “Isn’t it nice to have an admirer?” or “It’s only a few letters, why are you getting so upset?“‘

“To outsiders, her stalker looked like an ordinary, middle-aged family man, but within a matter of weeks his behaviour had become increasingly threatening and alongside the flowers and chocolates came pornography and brochures for headstones and personal injury insurance.”

Stalking isn’t sentimental. Nor is it something vague. “Virtually any unwanted contact between a stalker and his/her victim which directly or indirectly communicates a threat or places the victim in fear” qualifies. 

According to Safe Place Ministries, The stalker may try “to woo the victim into a relationship by sending flowers, candy, and love letters..,. However, when the victim spurns the unwelcome advances, the stalker often turns to intimidation.”

Still in doubt? Then consider this story from the Nashville Tennessean, and this one from Bowling Green, Ohio. In both, the stalkers’ gifts of flowers are acts of aggression. Both stories end with murder.

Another recent report, startling for its naivete, comes from Queens, New York. A homeless man allegedly harassed a women for four months, calling in more than 20 false fire alarms to her home “just to piss (her) off.”

The newspaper piece goes on to say, “Although Charles was charged with harassment and stalking, (the fire marshal investigator) said the woman was probably never in danger of being physically harmed. In fact, Charles had placed flowers on her doorstep on more than one occasion.” Wake up, people!! 

Today in the U.S. alone, an estimated 200,000 people are being stalked. Here’s more information and advice for those who are being harassed. “When flowers are delivered, contact the flower shop immediately to ask who placed the order, how it was paid for and the description of the person making the purchase. Take pictures of the flowers and keep the card, if one is attached.”

The Human Flower Project intends to show the meaning and force of flowers in social life. A dozen roses can’t be dismissed. They intrude on us. The nature of that intrusion is ours to cultivate and understand.

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