Human Flower Project

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

100 F: Send in the Dolls

It’s too hot for humans to garden. How about some surrogates?

Would you know a good gardening doll?

We never much liked dolls, even in childhood. Jacks, basketballs, cards, skip ropes and (yes) guns were so much more entertaining. But about now, since temperatures seem to be leveling out at 100 F each afternoon, and gardening is no longer a human flower project (It’s torture), we’d like to be able to engage a few lively puppets or mannequins to take over.

Late yesterday afternoon, we emerged just long enough to water a few things. Hackberries are protruding through every crack but everything else is plainly suffering. We administered as much mercy as fatigue, mosquitoes, and humidity would allow. It wasn’t much.

We wouldn’t consider hiring another person to endure this, but a doll? The image above is what inspired us. This little blonde seems to be working out quite happily with her rake in a bower of bridal wreath.

Bellflower and Marigold (?) dolly
Photo: Treadles

And how about this jolly creature? Surely, s/he would be able to keep the beautyberry from wilting.

Relaxing in the Japanese Tea Garden, Golden Gate Park
Photo: Heather Powazek Champ

After some searching, we’ve found there are any number of this sort of garden doll – happy to pose in the shade but none too interested in stepping on a spade. It’ll come as no surprise to you that Garden Party Barbie has declined our offer, as have Brenda Starr and Chloe. And while there are plenty of characters like this and this around Austin, they don’t strike us as reliable.

This candidate at least owns a sensible gardening hat but hasn’t returned our phone calls. We’ve even come across one Doll Garden Blogger, Miss Fairy Amaryllis Hippeastrum – with more sense than to leave the keyboard on a day like today. These gals clearly have a way with vegetables, and can they ever grow hair!

Please put us in contact....

But this is actually the crew we’re looking for—a couple who not only can mow and hoe in triple-digit heat but frug as they work (and come with their own tassled lampshades). Help! For the life of us, we can’t find their URL....